Doubt

Tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for. Tomorrow is the day everyone has been waiting for. Tomorrow is the day of the VCE English Exam.

Every student in Victoria doing the VCE will be sitting the English exam tomorrow.

No pressure.. AT ALL.

I'm surprised I've managed to maintain my composure until now.
My heart is beating so fast I can't even comprehend the speed.

If I screw up the exam tomorrow. I will have 'essentially' screwed up my future.

We're always told that it doesn't matter if you flunk the VCE because there's always a way to get to your dreams. Sure. It's true.

BUT, if I flunk the VCE, my reputation will be smashed to smithereens.

I am the eldest of three sisters. I have a scholarship at my school. My parents work day in day out to keep me at this school. All my relatives have gone to public schools and so far, all of them have aced the VCE. When I say ace, all have gotten 95+ ATARs. Though most of them have received 98+ ATARs. My first course preference requires that I get a 98 ATAR.

There's a lot at stake. Most people might not even bat an eye at this. They might think that it isn't all that big of a problem. But to me, I've grown up with relatives who prey on my parents. They feed off the failures and feel threatened by the successes of my parents. If I'm to stand a chance at teaching them all a lesson, that is, to not mess with my parents, then I'm going to have to ace tomorrow's exam.

English is the most important subject. English is the subject I've worked the hardest for. I can't let my stress hinder my performance tomorrow.

Good luck to me, yippee.

A Start to a Long Journey

As promised, I have another post.

Today I received my study score. I was honestly panicking when I logged in to see my result. I was scared that my two solid years of effort had gone down the drain and I was very surprised with my score. I was so relieved yet at the same time unsure if I should be disappointed or happy or I'm not even sure any more.

Often parents hold the highest expectations for you and that is certainly so in my case. So upon breaking the news to my father he replied, 'Is that supposed to be good?'

My mum wasn't sure how to respond either. She knew my score wasn't terrible, certainly not average, even 'high' after my raw score was scaled. She was at a loss for words. For once, she didn't know what to say.

I'm not disappointed with this mark- ecstatic actually. Knowing how badly I did in the exams, I'm very content with it.

But alas, this is only the start of an arduous journey toward my future career, a.k.a the VCE.
Next year is going to be one heck of a hard year. If I thought I was having it rough with just one advanced subject, imagine a year filled with five. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.

I have to admit, I'm not one for organization and time-management. If I was to win an award, I'd most definitely take the award for 'most unorganized, lazy student of all time'. It's sad to admit this, but it's only when you admit you have a problem, that you'll be able to find a solution.

On a side note, I have a newborn baby cousin named Annabelle Chloe Ly!
This beautiful child :')